Officially Moving!!

No, not as in ourselves, only my blog! I'm not that crazy after spending so many hours fixing up the house to move right after we are on the home stretch so to speak!

But as our family increases and will include three kids under three come July, my posting has steadily declined. Consequently, only my book reporting has been getting posted, so I created a new blog more designed around this premise.

So please visit me there, and thank you to my readers (if any still exist) for checking and being so patient with my lack of blogging!

New blog: Bent Over Book Words

Book # 33: Arguing with Idiots

By Glenn Beck

So yes, I am that far behind that I have not finished up my business from 2009. This though is my last book read in 2009. It was a good read, not as humorous as some of Glenn's other books, but it had a lot of decent points to make when discussing topics with people. So I would recommend it.

Book # 32: Wuthering Heights

by Emily Bronte

As a classic and one that I had more frequently been hearing about, I eagerly picked up this book expecting another Jane Austen style romance. Not the case at all. Much darker and almost gloomy, this book is a disappointment if approached in that light. However, after I got over the fact that this was not going to be another witty-banter romance, the book proved good. It was intriguing, and one that would be great to discuss with a group. Not one I would reread on a regular basis--too depressing and a little disconnected from the characters (as it is a story told within the story). But a decent read, and I am glad to finally be able to understand the references made in other books and movies.

Book # 33: Should be done within a week
Arguing with Idiots
by Glenn Beck

Book # 31: The Wind in the Willows

by Kenneth Grahame

The classic children's tale that for some reason I neglected to read. As a kid, I tended to not be a fan of animal's talking and stuck to stories involving people. So it took some work convincing myself to give this book a chance. It was a slow start for me, but by the end I felt connected to Toad, Mole, Rat, and Badger though not as much as in other stories I have read. Would I encourage my kids to read it? Maybe. I think it would work better as a read aloud, especially as some of the language is older both in vocabulary and strength. It also tended to have that overly descriptive quality such as Jane Austen or Charles Dickens employ, so the action and plot do not move along quickly.

Next book:
How to Argue with Idiots
Glenn Beck

Book # 30: The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes

by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Loved it! I like mysteries, but I am horribly wimpy. Even suspenseful movies can leave me with sleepless nights, so Sherlock Holmes's mysteries are right up my alley. Complex and confusing, they require thinking to solve, yet they skip all the gory details. Watson also narrates them in such a style as to minimize emotion, thus helping to keep my already overly active imagination in check. As the "chapters" appeared in a magazine initially, they are short enough to read during a nap or before bed, thus perfect for the busy mom I have become. I am sad that I am done with them, and that there are no more out there to read. I am hoping the movie coming out this fall with be good, as I'd like another dose of Sherlock Holmes.

Next up:
The Wind in the Willows

I'm Back...

well...sort of.

I figured as I still seem to be able to make time to read, (We've been blessed with a baby willing to sleep most nights more than a five hour stretch.), I should continue to track those books on here.

I finished Catch-22 by Joseph Heller. One of those classics I heard about, but never bothered to pick up. It was interesting. I think this New York Times review on the back cover sums it up:

"Wildly original, brutally gruesome, vulgar, bitterly, savagely funny... it will not be forgotten by those who can take it!"

For me: It was vulgar; it was gruesome; it was bitter; not so funny; and probably forgettable. It reminded me of the of the novels my 10th grade Honors English teacher made us read. Ones that were questionable for our age and maturity. Ones that would make you blush and were incredibly wordy. One that most 10th graders, or adults for that matter, wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. It's a book that you read for the title, to tack on your "I've read it" list, and that some group of "deep thinking" college students might discuss in a book club.

Next up: The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes
by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

A Change, well, Sort of

So I haven't been very diligent in my blogging lately. And as I am 39 weeks pregnant, I don't see it getting any better any time soon. So I am officially taking a break. I will try to keep adding my books as I read them (though I expect with child number two's arrival that the book reading will cease to exist for some time). But the home renovations are at a stand still (at least on my part) for at least 6 months. i know I still owe you pictures on the most recently completed rooms, and I am sorry for my negligence. Part of the delay is that there are still one or two things missing in them, so I've been waiting for them to be completely finished. If you are absolutely desperate to see them, then you will just have to come visit.

So thank you to all my loyal readers. I will check in occasionally, but I don't want to make any promises that I know I won't keep.

Book # 27 & 28: Eclipse & Breaking Dawn

by Stephenie Meyer

All I can say is that I am hopelessly hooked on the Twilight series! Read them! They are addictive, easy to read, and very entertaining. I am sad that there are no more for me to read. Each one got better than the last. And I will give Stephenie Meyer credit for sticking to more positive moral values for her main characters. It was refreshing, especially knowing that teenagers are reading them.

Book # 26: New Moon

by Stephenie Meyer

So the series must not be too bad because I am flying through them. The second book was better than the first, as there was less time with Edward and Bella (the two main characters) together and obsessing over each other. A little disjointed at the end, as a major plot twist has Bella traveling somewhere (don't want to spoil it). The second one leaves some loose ends, so I headed right into the third one. I'm sure I'll be up late and finishing it in a couple days. Then I need to get my hands on the fourth one, and the series will be completed. I'll keep you posted.

And I know--you need to see pictures of the baby's room and the family room. I've got to get myself and my camera geared up for that!

Book # 25: Twilight

by Stephenie Meyer

I hate to admit it, but yes, I succumbed to the pressure and read Twilight. Yes, the one made into the movie. Yes, the one that teenage girls are crazy about. I know, I know. I had a few people recommend it, and then had a friend offer to lend me the books (the first three). So there you have it.

It was good. In a low-key, teenage romance way. I was intrigued by how the whole vampire thing worked, and the dialogue was good at times (filled with sarcasm and quips at each other), at least until they really became boyfriend and girlfriend, and then it became a little sappy and obsessive. After a long beginning, something exciting did happen, and that had me up reading when I should have been sleeping, but then the end returned to the sappy and obsessive dialogue. So not an all time favorite, and probably not one I'd reread. But I enjoyed it enough, and it peaked my interest enough to have me start in on the second one, New Moon. So I'll keep you posted on it, and most likely the third, and the fourth...

Book # 24: The Politically Incorrect Guide to Islam

(And the Crusades)
by Robert Spencer

Overall, not a bad read. I knew most of it from other books I have read, but it was nice as Robert Spencer quoted the Qur'an to support points. The other books I had read about Islam and politics did not do this. The Crusade information was new to me as well. My knowledge of the history of that part of the world is not as good as it should be. Something I should probably work on. I would recommend it as I believe political correctness is stifling our ability to speak our minds, and as we hear the political correct side of things most times on the news, it is nice to hear the other side occasionally!

Not sure if I am finishing Catch-22 next or if I'll go for something more history aligned. We'll see.

Yard Sale Success

Our yard sale was a success with roughly $60 profit. We then did a curb alert on Craig's List and got rid of some of the bigger items that would have headed to the dumpster instead. Hooray for other people being able to use them!

Day 1

Day one of our yard sale went well. Roughly $40 made! One more to go, and I think the last few hours tomorrow will be half price! I'll keep you posted.

Yard Sale at our Abode

Yes, we are succumbing to the neighborhood pressure (about 5 other houses ), and have decided to have a yard sale. I think we both need to plead momentary insanity. As we cleared out the garage and set up tables last night, all I could think was "what is wrong with us?". Not only am I pregnant (which means no lifting), but how am I going to entertain a not yet two year old in our driveway for 7 hours on Friday AND Saturday! Much less deal with the ninety degree weather!


And looking at our track record, we are not the greatest yard sale sellers! I've held two in my lifetime--

once in high school, where I made about $20, mostly from my Grandma, and

once with friends near our old home. Josh and I made negative $11 that time, as we bought more of their items than we sold. So what is my strategy this time? How am I staying upbeat and motivated?


Here's my rules for yard sale attempt number 3: (I'll let you know how they turn out)

1. Keep the prices low! If we sell it for more than ten cents, that is ten cents we didn't have before! Price low, negotiate low! Just please take our junk!

2. Afterwards, set all the leftovers on the curb and post to Craig's List a curb alert. At least it is out of our house, and we didn't need to bother carting it away.

3. Use cute little Madi to our advantage. Teach her the ways of selling, and send her out to greet people. Maybe make a sign for her to carry--all proceeds benefit my college fund! Hey, every time we GO TO a yard sale, she ends up with a free toy or stuffed animal because she's "oh too cute". For example, (it doesn't even have to be a yard sale) Josh took her to a local diner for ice cream two evenings ago, and they returned home with a stuffed dolphin that the restaurant owners had given her because she was sooo cute. I've had happy meal toys given to us too--by employees and other customers. So I'm hoping to use this to our advantage!

Book # 23: The Mother Tongue

English and How it Got that Way
by Bill Bryson

I am an avid Bill Bryson reader. I have read at least 5 of his books. This would be my least favorite so far. This was mainly due to the subject matter, and well, reading about the English language is hard to make exciting. However, if you are interested in reading about English, then Mr. Bryson makes a good attempt at keeping your attention. I did learn some interesting things, but it is definitely not one that I would buy or reread. However, I will recommend Bill Bryson's book "A Walk in the Woods", where he hikes the Appalachian Trail or any of his travel books. They are worth reading.

Next book: The Politically Incorrect Guide to Islam

Officially Arranged

The family room is officially arranged. The furniture all fit and looks cozy in its new locations. There are a few pictures to be hung and a few clutter spots awaiting removal, but the major work is done.

The baby room is officially arranged. Crib is set up, complete with bedding. Dresser has clothing organized, and the changing table is ready to go. Nothing is hung on the walls, but that just requires a hammer and some nails. Well, and a phone call, and an internet order, and me making 3 antique toy airplanes into a mobile (don't ask--I'll share pictures if it works out). But I'm still counting it as complete; it's less stressful that way.

Madi's room is half done. She is moved into a big bed (no problem at all), and loving it. The stuffed animal population that sleeps with her has doubled, but she has successfully stayed in bed after every night and nap until I go in to tell her she can get down. Her desk and dresser is painted and filled. I still have to seal her shelves and night stand, and then arrange the furniture. But it is getting there.

We are a little behind because we had a small flood. The plastic tubing running to an auxiliary kitchen faucet sprung a leak in our basement. This was discovered by our cat, as her litter box is located directly under that plastic tubing. The water was spraying all over, and like most cats, Izzy does not want to get wet. Consequently, she really needed to pee (excuse my bluntness), and began doing laps around our house, meowing as loud as she could. This caused Josh to investigate (well, try to dispose of her in the basement). Luckily, our basement is slanted, so the water ran away from the colossal stack of memorabilia, precious treasures, and junk that we had "stored" on the floor in the center of our basement. Only a few items of little importance (except my 9th grade yearbook) got wet. But the clean up process (which is still underway) took some time from the arranging that was to be done upstairs.

And now Izzy is avoiding the basement. It felt like I was potty training a child, as I had to keep taking her into the basement to use her litter box. And as I am sort of potty training Madi, two learners were too much to handle, especially when one has claws and can hide under beds. So Izzy's litter box has taken its place back in our downstairs shower. They say that a little bit of regression is supposed to take place with the arrival of a new baby. I just expected the regression to be done by Madi, and for it to take place AFTER the baby was born.

Book # 22: Cymbeline

By William Shakespeare

This is one of Shakespeare's later plays. I switched to reading it as we thought we were going to get to go see it. Every year they have a local Shakespeare Festival, and they have a Shakespeare in the Park performance, which is outside and free. That's right--outside and FREE! This year's performance just happened to take place during our 5th anniversary weekend away. So we did not need to even find a babysitter as we already had Nana standing by. Well, guess what? It rained. So when it rains, there is no performance. Oh, well. It motivated me to read a Shakespeare play I had not previously heard of.

It wouldn't be one of my favorite Shakespeare plays (I tend to like the comedies best--Much Ado About Nothing, The Taming of the Shrew, and Twelfth Night), but it is also not my least favorite. If you like Shakespeare, it is not bad. It is in between a comedy and a tragedy. Less death, more romance.

I am currently reading a Bill Bryson book and am halfway through Catch-22.

Furniture Frenzy

Currently, our house is overrun with furniture out of place and awaiting a new home. We are in the process of setting up or resetting up three rooms in our home.

First, of course, is the baby's room which was our guest room. But to fully set this room up, we need the following to happen:

-paint the accent wall
-get Madi into a big bed
-remove a shelf and relocate it to the office corner in the family room
-figure out what to do with our queen guest room mattress & box spring

Our basement is too musty, and there is no other spot in our house to store it. It was newly purchased as a gift, so it's not something we can just discard or sell. Any ideas on how to store it in the basement without messing it up?

Second, is Madi's bedroom. Because she is being moved to a big bed, all of her furniture is being moved with the crib into the baby's room as it is a matching set. Therefore, Madi gets all new furniture. But first, I need to sand and repaint the craig's list dresser, mirror, desk, and shelves that I found.

Third, is our family room. My grandmother is downsizing, and therefore, getting rid of some nice furniture pieces. Our family room was currently empty and awaiting the money for the furniture. So good timing. Half of the furniture arrived today, but we weren't able to fit the love seat and chair into the trailer. And those are pretty key pieces to finish off the room.

Consequently, the garage, guest room, and family room all look like a jumble of mix matched furniture awaiting some major organizing.

And well, I'm a little bit anal retentive, and the disorder is really starting to get to me.

The Pretentious Book Memo

So this book list was circulating throughout facebook, and as I seem to be struggling to find new books to read, my goal is to go through this list and try to choose some of these. I am currently reading "Catch-22", which I've heard mentioned many times in my life, but really had no clue what it was about.

Apparently the BBC reckons most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here. Currently, I have read 35 of them. We'll see how many I can add to it.

How many have you read?

Any recommendations on what to read next?

Instructions:
1) Look at the list and put an 'x' after those you have read ENTIRELY
2) Add a '+' to the ones you LOVE.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen x +
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien x +
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte x +
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling x +
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee x
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell x
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman--NEVER
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens x
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott x +
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy--saw the BBC movie, no desire to read it
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien x +
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger x
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell x +
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald x
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky x
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck x
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll x
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy x
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens x
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis x +
34 Emma - Jane Austen x +
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen x +
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis x +
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden--not interested
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown--not interested
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery x +
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan--not interested
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen x +
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley x +
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck x
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas x +
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding x +
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett x +
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson x +
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White x +
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad x
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery x
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas x
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare x +
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl x +
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Book # 21: Saint Mary of Egypt

Three Medieval Lives in Verse
Translated by Hugh Feiss and Ronald Pepin

This book compiles three versions of the life of Saint Mary of Egypt, each written in verse form. Obviously, it was a little repetitive, but her story is worth knowing and remembering. As I can't do her story justice, here is the version found on the Orthodox Church of America (www.oca.org) website:

St Zosimas (April 4) was a monk at a certain Palestinian monastery on the outskirts of Caesarea. Having dwelt at the monastery since his childhood, he lived there in asceticism until he reached the age of fifty-three. Then he was disturbed by the thought that he had attained perfection, and needed no one to instruct him. "Is there a monk anywhere who can show me some form of asceticism that I have not attained? Is there anyone who has surpassed me in spiritual sobriety and deeds?"

Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared to him and said, "Zosimas, you have struggled valiantly, as far as this is in the power of man. However, there is no one who is righteous (Rom 3:10). So that you may know how many other ways lead to salvation, leave your native land, like Abraham from the house of his father (Gen 12:1), and go to the monastery by the Jordan."

Abba Zosimas immediately left the monastery, and following the angel, he went to the Jordan monastery and settled in it.

Here he met Elders who were adept in contemplation, and also in their struggles. Never did anyone utter an idle word. Instead, they sang constantly, and prayed all night long. Abba Zosimas began to imitate the spiritual activity of the holy monks.

Thus much time passed, and the holy Forty Day Fast approached. There was a certain custom at the monastery, which was why God had led St Zosimas there. On the First Sunday of Great Lent the igumen served the Divine Liturgy, everyone received the All-Pure Body and Blood of Christ. Afterwards, they went to the trapeza for a small repast, and then assembled once more in church.

The monks prayed and made prostrations, asking forgiveness one of another. Then they made a prostration before the igumen and asked his blessing for the struggle that lay before them. During the Psalm "The Lord is my Light and my Savior, whom shall I fear? The Lord is defender of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?" (Ps 26/27:1), they opened the monastery gate and went off into the wilderness.

Each took with him as much food as he needed, and went into the desert. When their food ran out, they ate roots and desert plants. The monks crossed the Jordan and scattered in various directions, so that no one might see how another fasted or how they spent their time.

The monks returned to the monastery on Palm Sunday, each having his own conscience as a witness of his ascetic struggles. It was a rule of the monastery that no one asked how anyone else had toiled in the desert.

Abba Zosimas, according to the custom of the monastery, went deep into the desert hoping to find someone living there who could benefit him.

He walked into the wilderness for twenty days and then, when he sang the Psalms of the Sixth Hour and made the usual prayers. Suddenly, to the right of the hill where he stood, he saw a human form. He was afraid, thinking that it might be a demonic apparition. Then he guarded himself with the Sign of the Cross, which removed his fear. He turned to the right and saw a form walking southward. The body was black from the blazing sunlight, and the faded short hair was white like a sheep's fleece. Abba Zosimas rejoiced, since he had not seen any living thing for many days.

The desert-dweller saw Zosimas approaching, and attempted to flee from him. Abba Zosimas, forgetting his age and fatigue, quickened his pace. When he was close enough to be heard, he called out, "Why do you flee from me, a sinful old man? Wait for me, for the love of God."

The stranger said to him, "Forgive me, Abba Zosimas, but I cannot turn and show my face to you. I am a woman, and as you see, I am naked. If you would grant the request of a sinful woman, throw me your cloak so I might cover my body, and then I can ask for your blessing."

Then Abba Zosimas was terrified, realizing that she could not have called him by name unless she possessed spiritual insight.

Covered by the cloak, the ascetic turned to Zosimas: "Why do you want to speak with me, a sinful woman? What did you wish to learn from me, you who have not shrunk from such great labors?"

Abba Zosimas fell to the ground and asked for her blessing. She also bowed down before him, and for a long time they remained on the ground each asking the other to bless. Finally, the woman ascetic said: "Abba Zosimas, you must bless and pray, since you are honored with the grace of the priesthood. For many years you have stood before the holy altar, offering the Holy Gifts to the Lord."

These words frightened St Zosimas even more. With tears he said to her, "O Mother! It is clear that you live with God and are dead to this world. You have called me by name and recognized me as a priest, though you have never seen me before. The grace granted you is apparent, therefore bless me, for the Lord's sake."

Yielding finally to his entreaties, she said, "Blessed is God, Who cares for the salvation of men." Abba Zosimas replied, "Amen." Then they rose to their feet. The woman ascetic again said to the Elder, "Why have you come, Father, to me who am a sinner, bereft of every virtue? Apparently, the grace of the Holy Spirit has brought you to do me a service. But tell me first, Abba, how do the Christians live, how is the Church guided?"

Abba Zosimas answered her, "By your holy prayers God has granted the Church and us all a lasting peace. But fulfill my unworthy request, Mother, and pray for the whole world and for me a sinner, that my wanderings in the desert may not be useless."

The holy ascetic replied, "You, Abba Zosimas, as a priest, ought to pray for me and for all, for you are called to do this. However, since we must be obedient, I will do as you ask.

The saint turned toward the East, and raising her eyes to heaven and stretching out her hands, she began to pray in a whisper. She prayed so softly that Abba Zosimas could not hear her words. After a long time, the Elder looked up and saw her standing in the air more than a foot above the ground. Seeing this, Zosimas threw himself down on the ground, weeping and repeating, "Lord, have mercy!"

Then he was tempted by a thought. He wondered if she might not be a spirit, and if her prayer could be insincere. At that moment she turned around, lifted him from the ground and said, "Why do your thoughts confuse you, Abba Zosimas? I am not an apparition. I am a sinful and unworthy woman, though I am guarded by holy Baptism."

Then she made the Sign of the Cross and said, "May God protect us from the Evil One and his schemes, for fierce is his struggle against us." Seeing and hearing this, the Elder fell at her feet with tears saying, "I beseech you by Christ our God, do not conceal from me who you are and how you came into this desert. Tell me everything, so that the wondrous works of God may be revealed."

She replied, "It distresses me, Father, to speak to you about my shameless life. When you hear my story, you might flee from me, as if from a poisonous snake. But I shall tell you everything, Father, concealing nothing. However, I exhort you, cease not to pray for me a sinner, that I may find mercy on the Day of Judgment.

"I was born in Egypt and when I was twelve years old, I left my parents and went to Alexandria. There I lost my chastity and gave myself to unrestrained and insatiable sensuality. For more than seventeen years I lived like that and I did it all for free. Do not think that I refused the money because I was rich. I lived in poverty and worked at spinning flax. To me, life consisted in the satisfaction of my fleshly lust.

"One summer I saw a crowd of people from Libya and Egypt heading toward the sea. They were on their way to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross. I also wanted to sail with them. Since I had no food or money, I offered my body in payment for my passage. And so I embarked on the ship.

"Now, Father, believe me, I am very amazed, that the sea tolerated my wantonness and fornication, that the earth did not open up its mouth and take me down alive into hell, because I had ensnared so many souls. I think that God was seeking my repentance. He did not desire the death of a sinner, but awaited my conversion.

"So I arrived in Jerusalem and spent all the days before the Feast living the same sort of life, and maybe even worse.

"When the holy Feast of the Exaltation of the Venerable Cross of the Lord arrived, I went about as before, looking for young men. At daybreak I saw that everyone was heading to the church, so I went along with the rest. When the hour of the Holy Elevation drew nigh, I was trying to enter into the church with all the people. With great effort I came almost to the doors, and attempted to squeeze inside. Although I stepped up to the threshold, it was as though some force held me back, preventing me from entering. I was brushed aside by the crowd, and found myself standing alone on the porch. I thought that perhaps this happened because of my womanly weakness. I worked my way into the crowd, and again I attempted to elbow people aside. However hard I tried, I could not enter. Just as my feet touched the church threshold, I was stopped. Others entered the church without difficulty, while I alone was not allowed in. This happened three or four times. Finally my strength was exhausted. I went off and stood in a corner of the church portico.

"Then I realized that it was my sins that prevented me from seeing the Life-Creating Wood. The grace of the Lord then touched my heart. I wept and lamented, and I began to beat my breast. Sighing from the depths of my heart, I saw above me an icon of the Most Holy Theotokos. Turning to Her, I prayed: "O Lady Virgin, who gave birth in the flesh to God the Word! I know that I am unworthy to look upon your icon. I rightly inspire hatred and disgust before your purity, but I know also that God became Man in order to call sinners to repentance. Help me, O All-Pure One. Let me enter the church. Allow me to behold the Wood upon which the Lord was crucified in the flesh, shedding His Blood for the redemption of sinners, and also for me. Be my witness before Your Son that I will never defile my body again with the impurity of fornication. As soon as I have seen the Cross of your Son, I will renounce the world, and go wherever you lead me."

"After I had spoken, I felt confidence in the compassion of the Mother of God, and left the spot where I had been praying. I joined those entering the church, and no one pushed me back or prevented me from entering. I went on in fear and trembling, and entered the holy place.

"Thus I also saw the Mysteries of God, and how God accepts the penitant. I fell to the holy ground and kissed it. Then I hastened again to stand before the icon of the Mother of God, where I had given my vow. Bending my knees before the Virgin Theotokos, I prayed:

"'O Lady, you have not rejected my prayer as unworthy. Glory be to God, Who accepts the repentance of sinners. It is time for me to fulfill my vow, which you witnessed. Therefore, O Lady, guide me on the path of repentance.'"

"Then I heard a voice from on high: 'If you cross the Jordan, you will find glorious rest.'

"I immediately believed that this voice was meant for me, and I cried out to the Mother of God: 'O Lady, do not forsake me!'

"Then I left the church portico and started on my journey. A certain man gave me three coins as I was leaving the church. With them I bought three loaves of bread, and asked the bread merchant the way to the Jordan.

"It was nine o'clock when I saw the Cross. At sunset I reached the church of St John the Baptist on the banks of the Jordan. After praying in the church, I went down to the Jordan and washed my face and hands in its water. Then in this same temple of St John the Forerunner I received the Life-Creating Mysteries of Christ. Then I ate half of one of my loaves of bread, drank water from the holy Jordan, and slept there that night on the ground. In the morning I found a small boat and crossed the river to the opposite shore. Again I prayed that the Mother of God would lead me where She wished. Then I found myself in this desert."

Abba Zosimas asked her, "How many years have passed since you began to live in the desert?"

"'I think," she replied, "it is forty-seven years since I came from the Holy City."

Abba Zosimas again asked, "What food do you find here, Mother?"

And she said, "I had with me two and a half loaves of bread when I crossed the Jordan. Soon they dried out and hardened Eating a little at a time, I finished them after a few years."

Again Abba Zosimas asked, "Is it possible you have survived for so many years without sickness, and without suffering in any way from such a complete change?"

"Believe me, Abba Zosimas," the woman said, "I spent seventeen years in this wilderness (after she had spent seventeen years in immorality), fighting wild beasts: mad desires and passions. When I began to eat bread, I thought of the meat and fish which I had in abundance in Egypt. I also missed the wine that I loved so much when I was in the world, while here I did not even have water. I suffered from thirst and hunger. I also had a mad desire for lewd songs. I seemed to hear them, disturbing my heart and my hearing. Weeping and striking myself on the breast, I remembered the vow I had made. At last I beheld a radiant Light shining on me from everywhere. After a violent tempest, a lasting calm ensued.

"Abba, how shall I tell you of the thoughts that urged me on to fornication? A fire seemed to burn within me, awakening in me the desire for embraces. Then I would throw myself to the ground and water it with my tears. I seemed to see the Most Holy Virgin before me, and She seemed to threaten me for not keeping my vow. I lay face downward day and night upon the ground, and would not get up until that blessed Light encircled me, dispelling the evil thoughts that troubled me.

"Thus I lived in this wilderness for the first seventeen years. Darkness after darkness, misery after misery stood about me, a sinner. But from that time until now the Mother of God helps me in everything."

Abba Zosimas again inquired, "How is it that you require neither food, nor clothing?"

She answered, "After finishing my bread, I lived on herbs and the things one finds in the desert. The clothes I had when I crossed over the Jordan became torn and fell apart. I suffered both from the summer heat, when the blazing heat fell upon me, and from the winter cold, when I shivered from the frost. Many times I fell down upon the earth, as though dead. I struggled with various afflictions and temptations. But from that time until the present day, the power of God has guarded my sinful soul and humble body. I was fed and clothed by the all-powerful word of God, since man does not live by bread alone, but by every word proceeding from the mouth of God (Dt 8:3, Mt.4:4, Luke 4:4), and those who have put off the old man (Col 3:9) have no refuge, hiding themselves in the clefts of the rocks (Job 24:8, Heb 11:38). When I remember from what evil and from what sins the Lord delivered me, I have imperishible food for salvation."

When Abba Zosimas heard that the holy ascetic quoted the Holy Scripture from memory, from the Books of Moses and Job and from the Psalms of David, he then asked the woman, "Mother, have you read the Psalms and other books?"

She smiled at hearing this question, and answered, "Believe me, I have seen no human face but yours from the time that I crossed over the Jordan. I never learned from books. I have never heard anyone read or sing from them. Perhaps the Word of God, which is alive and acting, teaches man knowledge by itself (Col 3:16, 1 Thess 2:13). This is the end of my story. As I asked when I began, I beg you for the sake of the Incarnate Word of God, holy Abba, pray for me, a sinner.

"Furthermore, I beg you, for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, tell no one what you have heard from me, until God takes me from this earth. Next year, during Great Lent, do not cross the Jordan, as is the custom of your monastery."

Again Abba Zosimas was amazed, that the practice of his monastery was known to the holy woman ascetic, although he had not said anything to her about this.

"Remain at the monastery," the woman continued. "Even if you try to leave the monastery, you will not be able to do so. On Great and Holy Thursday, the day of the Lord's Last Supper, place the Life-Creating Body and Blood of Christ our God in a holy vessel, and bring it to me. Await me on this side of the Jordan, at the edge of the desert, so that I may receive the Holy Mysteries. And say to Abba John, the igumen of your community, 'Look to yourself and your brothers (1 Tim 4:16), for there is much that needs correction. Do not say this to him now, but when the Lord shall indicate."

Asking for his prayers, the woman turned and vanished into the depths of the desert.

For a whole year Elder Zosimas remained silent, not daring to reveal to anyone what he had seen, and he prayed that the Lord would grant him to see the holy ascetic once more.

When the first week of Great Lent came again, St Zosimas was obliged to remain at the monastery because of sickness. Then he remembered the woman's prophetic words that he would not be able to leave the monastery. After several days went by, St Zosimas was healed of his infirmity, but he remained at the monastery until Holy Week.

On Holy Thursday, Abba Zosimas did what he had been ordered to do. He placed some of the Body and Blood of Christ into a chalice, and some food in a small basket. Then he left the monastery and went to the Jordan and waited for the ascetic. The saint seemed tardy, and Abba Zosimas prayed that God would permit him to see the holy woman.

Finally, he saw her standing on the far side of the river. Rejoicing, St Zosimas got up and glorified God. Then he wondered how she could cross the Jordan without a boat. She made the Sign of the Cross over the water, then she walked on the water and crossed the Jordan. Abba Zosimas saw her in the moonlight, walking toward him. When the Elder wanted to make prostration before her, she forbade him, crying out, "What are you doing, Abba? You are a priest and you carry the Holy Mysteries of God."

Reaching the shore, she said to Abba Zosimas, "Bless me, Father." He answered her with trembling, astonished at what he had seen. "Truly God did not lie when he promised that those who purify themselves will be like Him. Glory to You, O Christ our God, for showing me through your holy servant, how far I am from perfection."

The woman asked him to recite both the Creed and the "Our Father." When the prayers were finished, she partook of the Holy Mysteries of Christ. Then she raised her hands to the heavens and said, "Lord, now let Your servant depart in peace, for my eyes have seen Your salvation."

The saint turned to the Elder and said, "Please, Abba, fulfill another request. Go now to your monastery, and in a year's time come to the place where we first time spoke."

He said, "If only it were possible for me to follow you and always see your holy face!"

She replied, "For the Lord's sake, pray for me and remember my wrechedness."

Again she made the Sign of the Cross over the Jordan, and walked over the water as before, and disappeared into the desert. Zosimas returned to the monastery with joy and terror, reproaching himself because he had not asked the saint's name. He hoped to do so the following year.

A year passed, and Abba Zosimas went into the desert. He reached the place where he first saw the holy woman ascetic. She lay dead, with arms folded on her bosom, and her face was turned to the east. Abba Zosimas washed her feet with his tears and kissed them, not daring to touch anything else. For a long while he wept over her and sang the customary Psalms, and said the funeral prayers. He began to wonder whether the saint would want him to bury her or not. Hardly had he thought this, when he saw something written on the ground near her head: "Abba Zosimas, bury on this spot the body of humble Mary. Return to dust what is dust. Pray to the Lord for me. I reposed on the first day of April, on the very night of the saving Passion of Christ, after partaking of the Mystical Supper."

Reading this note, Abba Zosimas was glad to learn her name. He then realized that St Mary, after receiving the Holy Mysteries from his hand, was transported instantaneously to the place where she died, though it had taken him twenty days to travel that distance.

Glorifying God, Abba Zosimas said to himself, "It is time to do what she asks. But how can I dig a grave, with nothing in my hands?" Then he saw a small piece of wood left by some traveler. He picked it up and began to dig. The ground was hard and dry, and he could not dig it. Looking up, Abba Zosimas saw an enormous lion standing by the saint's body and licking her feet. Fear gripped the Elder, but he guarded himself with the Sign of the Cross, believing that he would remain unharmed through the prayers of the holy woman ascetic. Then the lion came close to the Elder, showing its friendliness with every movement. Abba Zosimas commanded the lion to dig the grave, in order to bury St Mary's body. At his words, the lion dug a hole deep enough to bury the body. Then each went his own way. The lion went into the desert, and Abba Zosimas returned to the monastery, blessing and praising Christ our God.

Arriving at the monastery, Abba Zosimas related to the monks and the igumen, what he had seen and heard from St Mary. All were astonished, hearing about the miracles of God. They always remembered St Mary with faith and love on the day of her repose.

Abba John, the igumen of the monastery, heeded the words of St Mary, and with the help of God corrected the things that were wrong at the monastery. Abba Zosimas lived a God-pleasing life at the monastery, reaching nearly a hundred years of age. There he finished his temporal life, and passed into life eternal.

The monks passed on the life of St Mary of Egypt by word of mouth without writing it down.

"I however," says St Sophronius of Jerusalem (March 11), "wrote down the Life of St Mary of Egypt as I heard it from the holy Fathers. I have recorded everything, putting the truth above all else."

"May God, Who works great miracles and bestows gifts on all who turn to Him in faith, reward those who hear or read this account, and those who copy it. May he grant them a blessed portion together with St Mary of Egypt and with all the saints who have pleased God by their pious thoughts and works. Let us give glory to God, the Eternal King, that we may find mercy on the Day of Judgment through our Lord Jesus Christ, to Whom is due all glory, honor, majesty and worship together with the Unoriginate Father, and the Most Holy and Life-Creating Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen."